Rantings on expectations and conformity

Sometimes, I think our world is so full of standards by which our lives are being judged; that is why compromising is always at the least of our options. 


Looking at the bigger picture, I think there's more to life than meeting expectations, following rules and simply blending in. Too much conformity kills the life in us. I think we owe to ourselves the freedom to do what we want and just let things be; the way we want them to be. Life is too short for us to worry about what might other people think and too short for us to waste time judging also for that matter. We are all humans capable of living and committing mistakes.. 


So, go on. Live life. Love more. Expect less. :)

What competition?

If I inspire you, it is my pleasure. If I make you feel that you are better than me or any other people for that matter, it is also my pleasure. Competition? Who's competing? Looks like you need acknowledgement & recognition more than I do... #applause #standing ovation

Note to the Jack of all trades - FOCUS.

Note to the Jack of all trades-


In reality, nothing is ever going to be 'ideal' for you all the time so you better learn to abide by the rule of gestation. Ergo, to be a master of something -- always look at the upside and always put direction to the things that you do. Don't find meaning as if "meaning" is lost. And most of all, be patient. Most successful people became successful only because they were focused at doing that one thing that, with time, they became really good at. Allow yourself some time to succeed at something. Don't jump from one career to another or one talent to another. Remember that nothing is gained in an instant. Well, at least, except for cup noodles. :)

What really counts - struggling to live the passion

So, here's something that I realized today--


There will come a time in your life wherein you are going to meet people who will always pull you down; don't allow them to mess up with your mind. Stay FOCUSED especially when you know it in your heart that you've got what it takes.


Always remember that:


Your talent is God given. (That is perfection in itself.)Don't let one person measure how much talent you have. Always trust what you hear from the crowd. Most importantly, stay strong especially when dealing with people in show business, keep an eye on them.Lastly, pray for you to meet decent people who will believe in your talent; people who will not take advantage of you.




"You first have to believe in yourself before others can believe in you." - Unknown


"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleonor Roosevelt

How to have a long lasting relationship (with your partner)

So, how do we create a long lasting relationship?

You might have noticed that I didn't use the word 'find' or 'keep'. Instead, I used the word 'create', because I think strong and faithful relationships are not found; they are made. 

I am not a guru of love or something. I am not saying that I have the perfect view on this. Even I, am still learning to put this in action; one step at a time, like you, and so far here are my my thoughts on this--

Get to know the person first. Never underestimate the amount of time you should spend in getting to know a person. Most people tend to skip the getting to know part which I think is the most important step before starting any relationship. Love is all about taking risks. You cannot invest your feelings to someone you barely know. It doesn't work that way. 

Entering a relationship is like entering a new business venture, you need to invest. But in this case, you need to invest more; not only your time but your money, your emotions, your efforts and your feelings as well. So, you need to know (at least) whom you are going to be investing on; you owe that to yourself. Ask yourself, "Is he worth it"? 

Taking the risk is a big step to take, so better take a calculated one.

Learn to compromise but remember to put your principles first. So, let's say you already took the plunge. Always keep in mind that you are two different persons with different backgrounds and beliefs. Most of the time, you will have different opinions and point of views on things relating to your relationship. Don't let this get in the way. They say that love is a give and take thing but, believe me, it is more of a 'give' than a 'take' thing. Expect that! Respect each other's opinion. Compromise. Sometimes, it is the only key. But, always put your principles first. It is simple; just remember that everything has limitations. You can compromise only up to an extent. When your principles are at stake, fight for it! 

Learn to forgive, every time. Relationships will always be a work in progress. It is never a one shot deal. We are not in a fairy tale land wherein everything is plain perfect, wherein love is everlasting; a happily-ever-after thing. In real life, sweet moments are sandwiched with fights, disagreements and disappointments. If grudge piles up, then your relationship might as well be in a time bomb waiting to explode. Forgiveness is crucial. Bringing up past problems will bring more problems. Learn to let go of hatred and bitterness. Learn to move on every time. It's better to always have a fresh start. Remember that love is constant forgiveness.

However, if you happen to be the one who committed the mistake, swallow your pride! Sometimes, an apology is more than enough. Accept your mistakes. Enough with the endless excuses. Be proactive and don't ever do it again! 

Be a minimalist. Don't make a big deal out of small things. Most often than not, big fights start from small fights. Focus on the topic and don't exaggerated things. Deal only with the root of the problem. Ask yourself why it happened in the first place then start from there. Be aware of your feelings. Know yourself. Know what hurts you and learn to avoid it. Remember to focus on the root. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Choose happiness. Happiness is something that you choose. Try laughing at your mistakes and you'll feel wonderful. Instead of turning it into a fight, make a joke out of it! Life is not a movie that should be filled with drama. Laugh it off!

Devote time. The more effort you put into something, the more better it is going to be. Effort equates time. If you want to examine your priorities, calculate the amount of time that you spend in each of your category; weather it be work, family, friends or your partner. Always spend time with each other. Show importance to what you both have. Invest in memories that will last a lifetime.  

Talk but always watch your tone. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! May it be good or bad, say it in front of his face! The moment you notice something, say it. Talk it out but always watch your tone because most often than not, it is not the message but the manner of how it was said that counts.

Trust and Respect. Once, a person said to me that, "Love is like a sand. The more you hold on to it, the more it slips away through your fingers." True! Trust and Respect go hand in hand. You cannot respect a person you don't trust; vise versa. So, don't not jump off the boundary. Always remember that love is always earned so as respect and trust. Always keep in mind that love is only fulfilling when it is offered out of someone's choice NOT out of someone's fear. It is better to be loved than to be feared. 

Acknowledge Responsibility. You are responsible for whatever happens to your relationship. Acknowledge that responsibility and everything will fall into place. Think of it this way, like what Newton said, "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction". For me, this rule on physics does not only apply to relationships but to life as well. 

Be Faithful! Who wouldn't want to have a happy relationship? If you were in a happy relationship, would you do anything to destroy that? Of course, not! So, choose happiness all the time. If you think that your current relationship isn't good, do something to fix it! Don't destroy it. Put direction into your what-ifs. Don't ask yourself, "What if I were with someone else, would I be happier?". Instead, ask "What if I make something different out of our problems as a couple? What if I choose to do better in this relationship that I'm in? How can I fix my relationship?" 

Don't entertain thoughts that would jeopardize your relationship. If you feel that there is something missing or that there is something wrong, point it out. Discuss it. Don't keep your partner guessing what's wrong. Or else, how will you fix the problem with that kind of attitude? Again, be proactive.



Say "Thank you". There is nothing more important than acknowledging even the smallest efforts of your partner. Yes, even if it doesn't meet your standards and expectations. Say "Thank you" based on his/her effort; for taking time and trying. Always focus and acknowledge efforts. Don't put too much limelight on the results of these 'efforts' because if you do, most often than not, especially if you have high standards and expectations, you'll get disappointed (which at this point is where fights usually come in). So, say "Thank you" even if you can't dig much of what he's doing. Saying "Thank you" means A LOT because it shows appreciation; which in turn, shows love.

Attitude of gratitude, people!

Above all, praise God. Always remember that God made all the good things in this world. With Him, nothing can go wrong. Always seek His guidance and everything will be okay. Offer your relationship to him. Rejoice in His blessings! Acknowledge your relationship as a blessing from him; treasure it! Pray.

A piece of advice on Love.

NEVER ever let your guard down. Boundaries are built for a reason. Stick to your principles and everything will be okay. If you meet someone whom you think is an exception, think twice! If you seem unsure, then there might be a reason why you are in the first place. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. Trust your heart but ALWAYS use your brain; because if a guy really loves you, he'll never run out of reasons not to.

"Shenzy & me"

Today, I lost my best friend. She's been with me since grade school. I would remember holding her tight when things were rough for me. She would always make me feel special in such a way no one else can; her love and care for me was incomparable. She always made me feel irreplaceable like she'd die if ever she didn't get the chance to be with me. Whenever I see her, she would act crazy as if it has been years since we last saw each other. She'd scream and her scream was intense! And her eyes, I remember her eyes... they were always full of passion and adoration. Whenever I come home late, she'd trash the place as if I have abandoned her forever. But every time I came home as she expected, she would invite me to go up the stairs towards my room, like she wanted to talk about how much she missed me during the day. At night, we would sleep together like sisters sharing the same bed and blanket; sometimes she would even occupy more than half of the bed space like she wanted to cuddle because she's cold.  I remember spending days with her, shopping in Eastwood after my class, with her dressed in gown and all. I'd buy her stuff to make her look glamorous in spite of her age. She'd walk with me wherever I go, unleashed.


But, things changed when she got older. She lost her sight. She's always groggy. But despite that, her excitement and enthusiasm whenever she sense my presence, still remains the same. She would cry happy tears.


But, now she's gone. She died of old age but she lived a good life and she's now my angel. I will miss her forever and no one can replace her in my heart.


RIP Shenzy [1995-2011]